Vatican Assassins: A One-Stop Website for Conspiratologists

Coming upon a hate site unexpectedly, you sometimes get this down-the-rabbit hole, Alice-in-Wonderland feeling that you’ve been wrenched into an alternate reality. Such a place is Vatican Assassins, the domain of one Jon Eric Phelps, whose interests and identity are pretty well summed up in the nearly incomprehensible blurb for his 1,836 page magnum opus, Vatican Assassins: Wounded in the House of My Friends:

After Thirty-Eight Years of Suppression
(1963 – 2001)
Exposing the Murder of Knight of Columbus
President John F. Kennedy,

by the bloody hand of the Society of Jesus,
by Order of its Jesuit General being
"the Black Pope",
In Command of His Most Obedient Servant,
the "infallible" Pope Paul VI being
"the White Pope",
He Controlling the Soviet KGB
and Jesuit-trained Fidel Castro’s Communist Cuba
through the British, Russian and American
Branches of the Knights of Malta,
While in Command of His Jesuit-trained
Most Obedient Servant:

The Archbishop of New York and
Knight of Columbus
Francis Cardinal Spellman,

Directing the Cast of Organized American Traitors,
They Being the High Command of
The Knights of Malta,
Shriner Freemasonry
The Knights of Columbus,
The Mafia and therefore,

The New York Council on Foreign Relations
Controlling the "Holy Roman"
Fourteenth Amendment American Empire
Including Its:

Commander-in-Chief, President Lyndon Johnson,
Federal Government and War Machine,
Federal Reserve Banking System,
Military Industrial Complex,
National "Lucepress" Media,
Federal Bureau of Investigation,
Central Intelligence Agency,
National Security Agency
Secret Service,
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court with his Warren Commission,
Speaker of the House of Representatives
with His Assassinations Committee,
and Vietnam War
by

Eric Jon Phelps, White American Freeman
Dispensational, Fifth Monarchy, Seventh-Day Baptist-Calvinist

Phelps, who advertises that he is a White American and a Baptist Calvinist (and a Fifth Monarchist, too, which is an apocalyptic cult that was active in England during the time of Oliver Cromwell), manages to touch on virtually every crazy theory in right-wing New World Order conspiracism, white separatism, birtherism, and 9/11 denial, while at the same time hearkening back to the Anti-Masons and the Anti-Papist Know Nothings of the nineteenth century and much earlier.

Click on the “news” stories featured on the Vatican Assassins website and you’ll learn that “Army General David Patraeous [sic] is a Jesuit Temporal Coadjutor,” as is Vice Admiral Gerald R. Beaman, Commander of US Third Fleet. So is radio’s Alex Jones. Newt Gingrich “is one of the ten most dangerous, Jesuitical politicians of the Pope’s ‘Holy Roman’ Fourteenth Amendment, Cartel-Corporate-Fascist, Socialist-Communist American Empire.” Pope Benedict XVI is an Illuminized Freemason of the highest rank and “[Former Carter Administration National Security Advisor] Zbigniew Brzezinski, a notable CFR-member, founder of the Trilateral Commission, key Bilderberger, fanatical Socialist-Communist, alien Polish Roman Catholic and high-level Freemason, was the foremost mentor of Barry Davis Soetoro, remade into ‘Barack Hussein Obama.’”

Especially crazy are Phelps’ theories of the Kennedy assassination that center on the Jesuit order and its leader, known as the “black Pope.” His fever dream is of a world that is controlled by the Jesuits—either directly or through their Jewish and Masonic proxies (not only were they behind 9/11, he tells us, the Vatican actually founded Islam in the 600s—the Arab Spring is their most recent handiwork), is based on a panoply of primary sources, most of them published long before JFK, Cardinal Spellman, or Pope Paul VI were born.

Protestant conspiracy theorists were obsessed with the Jesuits for centuries before the Illuminati, the Rothschilds, the Bilderbergs, or ACORN were ever thought of. Robert Ware forged the so-called Extreme Oath of the Jesuits all the way back in 1689 and published it in his book Foxes and Firebrands. “You have been taught to insidiously plant the seeds of jealousy and hatred between communities, provinces, states that were at peace, and incite them to deeds of blood,” it supposedly began. “You have been taught your duty as a spy….none can command here who has not consecrated his labors with the blood of the heretic; for ‘without the shedding of blood no man can be saved.’”

Phelps’s book is based on panoply of like-minded “primary” sources. If you buy it, he’ll send you a bonus CD that includes the complete texts of thirteen of them, among them The Black Pope, a book that was “one of the hottest, most controversial books of the late 1800s. This book was so hot, so very controversial that the Vatican forced its withdrawal shortly after it was published.”

The Black Pope: Or, The Jesuits’ Conspiracy Against American Institutions was published in 1892 by the Reverend O.E. Murray, Ph.D., and it was based on a series of lectures the Reverend delivered under the auspices of the virulently anti-Catholic American Protective Association—an organization that, for its relentless fear-mongering and its indifference to the truth, bears an uncanny resemblance to virulently anti-Muslim ideologues Robert Spencer and Pam Geller. The APA is perhaps best remembered for distributing a bogus encyclical in which Pope Leo XIII ordered loyal Catholics to exterminate all of the Protestants in the United States, “on or about the feast of Ignatius Loyola in the year of our Lord, 1893.”

Other texts on the CD are the Rev. John William Dowling’s History of Romanism: From the Earliest Corruptions of Christianity to the Present Time (1845) and Edwin Allen Sherman’s The Engineer Corps of Hell; or, Rome’s Sappers and Miners: Containing the Tactics of the ‘Militia of the Pope,’ of the Secret Manual of the Jesuits, and Other Matter Intensely Interesting, Especially to the Freemasons and Lovers of Religious Liberty, Whithersoever (1883). But wait, there’s more. You’ll get The Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk (1835)—a prurient account of a Canadian nun’s escape from sex slavery that was America’s bestselling book before Uncle Tom’s Cabin—and Thrilling Mysteries of a Convent Revealed by T.B. Peterson (1835), which features scenes in which Jesuits drink blood from a human skull, burn the Bible, and trample the American flag underfoot. Then there’s Abbate M. Leone’s Jesuit Conspiracy: Secret Plan of the Order. This last is the story of a teenaged novice who overhears his superiors plotting to overthrow the governments of the world—a plot premise that can’t but have a familiar ring to readers of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which purports to be the notes of a secret meeting of high-placed Jews with similarly nefarious aims.

Not surprisingly, Phelps’s singular focus on the Jesuits has earned him a measure of disrepute in the conspiracy world, which has tended to focus most of its animus on Jews. The arch-conspiracist anti-Semite Ken Adachi posted a lengthy, two-part exposé of Phelps on his website Educate-Yourself.org, that claims that he is a crypto-Zionist, a secret New Ager, and maybe even an FBI agent provocateur. “Eric Jon Phelps is the sort of person that a serious-minded and intelligent reader will quickly dismiss as a Merchant of Tripe,” Adachi says, without irony.

Adachi goes on to mock Phelps for engaging in the same conspiracy mongering as his, “If Phelps is to be believed (not!), even the Rothschilds, the most infamous of Zionist Illuminati, are not really the guilty source of crimes or conspiracy. Phelps says the Jesuits are actually the hidden controllers of the Rothschilds. (What supermen these Jesuits seem to be!) The Jesuits run Hollywood, too, and the Jesuits are masterminds of the pornography industry. According to Phelps, the Jesuits are guilty of, well, just about everything. They’re probably even behind the extraterrestrial and UFO aliens.”

Apparently the story of the pot calling the kettle black hasn’t made its way into Phelps and Adachi’s circles.