Men going their own way (MGTOW)

Overview

MGTOW is an online community of male supremacists who advocate self-empowerment by eschewing most relationships with women. Like other male supremacists, MGTOWs believe they are the persecuted victims of a gynocentric society that favors women at men’s expense. They frame their movement as a reaction to feminism’s perceived hostility and believe avoiding women is an act of self-preservation and empowerment.

MGTOWs subscribe to a sexist, gender-essentialist worldview that presents men as the creative doers and women as the conniving takers. Adherents attempt to give their ideology credibility by pointing to male historical figures such as Jesus and Beethoven and arguing their accomplishments were achieved only because they avoided romantic relationships with women. MGTOWs typically present all women as uniformly inferior, illogical and manipulative. They argue women are overly emotional and operate like children due to their limited cognitive reasoning skills. In this misogynistic worldview, women are parasitic and form relationships with men to gain access to their money and status. Meanwhile, they argue men are intelligent, rational risk-takers who created civilizations and thus should be able to dominate women.

In addition to their virulent misogyny, MGTOWs are often extremely homophobic and transphobic. MGTOWs are a heterosexual community of men who embrace a toxic form of traditional masculinity and define themselves by their lack of relationships and hatred of women. As a result, homophobia is a tool many members rely on to prove their heterosexuality to others.

While all MGTOWs reject relationships with women, in practice the degree of rejection varies. Some MGTOWs will solicit sex workers or may engage in one-night stands while others are intentionally abstinent, a process known within the community as “going monk.” Some MGTOWs are willing to have platonic relationships with women, while others fear the danger of being around women is too risky.

According to one widely shared MGTOW doctrine, there are four “levels of MGTOW” once one “takes the red pill” and accepts that men are persecuted by a feminist society and women are the privileged gender who hold social, economic and sexual power over men. At the first MGTOW level, men must reject long-term relationships with women, while the second level calls on men to reject short-term relationships with women as well. To be at the third level, men must take steps to disengage from the economic system so that they are paying less in taxes they believe will be used to support single mothers. Finally, the fourth level is described as “social rejection” and requires that men isolate themselves from society and live self-sufficient and independent lives off the grid. Laura Bates, author of Men Who Hate Women, estimates there are very few MGTOWs who achieve level-four status, and most exist between levels one and two.

MGTOW ideology and the rhetoric and activities of its members are inherently contradictory. Despite their claims that they want to “go their own way” and disconnect from women, MGTOW discourse is almost entirely focused on women. Additionally, they condemn harmful gender stereotypes that define masculinity by a man’s ability to provide as harmful and limiting. At the same time, they embrace other destructive notions of toxic masculinity that are just as harmful, arguing a “real man” must be dominant, aggressive, and detached from his emotions.

In their own words

“I’m not a misogynist, i don’t belive in some form of gender superiority...but i hate women with a passion, and i’m absolutely on board with MGTOW” – Comment on a MGTOW forum, Feb. 22, 2023

“Single women no longer want children while continuing to act like overgrown children themselves. ... In today’s world it’s cheaper to pay, spray, and send her away with regards to working girls than it is to get married.” – “Sandman” in a YouTube video titled “Pay, Spray & Send Her Away! - MGTOW,” Nov. 1, 2022

“For many men, the awakening brought on by MGTOW (and other such recognitions) reflected understanding of the evolutionarily-adapted traits that women use against men for their own advantage. They capitalized on differences in biology, benefited themselves at the expense of men, and engaged in reprehensible – and allegedly acceptable – behavior such as hypergamy and making false accusations against males, no matter how much pain and suffering it caused.” – Tim Patten in a blog on the National Coalition for Men website titled “The Men’s Revolution,” Jan. 11, 2019

“If ur a ‘potential rapist’ for buying a woman a drink, then she’s already a ‘potential thief and murderer’ of your freedom and well-being.” – Tweet from a MGTOW account, Aug. 30, 2014

“There’s a reason why for most of human civilization women had their own world and men had theirs. Trying to merge these two worlds has been a terrible experiment. It’s led to more women than ever taking anti-depressants and led to more men than ever being stressed out in the workplace, unable to express themselves and their creativity properly because of fear of ridicule and now fear of #MeToo.” – “Sandman” in a YouTube video titled “Avoid Women At Work? - MGTOW,” Oct. 14, 2019

“Every woman’s innate urge (and willingness) to sleep with a male of higher status than the one she’s currently settling for – virtually guaranteeing that her boyfriend or husband is never her first choice.” – Definition for hypergamy on a MGTOW website’s glossary

“Hating women ... is the best thing to have happened to me because, I think, that women are a disappointment regarding virtues. … Hating women has made me a stronger person ... because, let’s face it – there’s a lot to hate, and women make you weak. … The freedom and strength is too great of a reward not to raise a middle finger toward those cucks and tell their whores to fuck off. My life is too great to give up. And hate (toward such an ugly thing as woman/white-knights) can be the most healthy response a man can have.” – Post titled “Learning to hate women is the best thing to happen to me” on the r/MGTOW subreddit, July 29, 2017

“Why would a man fight to defend a society that hates him? Why would a man fight to defend a corrupt judicial system? Let the women suffer and die in the environment that they created through their voting practices.” – Comment on the r/MGTOW subreddit, March 1, 2017

Background

Men going their own way (MGTOW) emerged in the 1990s within the men’s rights movement and began to coalesce into its own unique male supremacist ideology in the mid-2000s. Unlike the men’s right activists before them, MGTOWs abandoned even the pretense of purported activism and spend their efforts seething over women and feminism. MGTOW was established on a forum called Nice Guy by its pseudonymous founders, “Solaris” and “Ragnar.” However, the ideology was appealing to many aggrieved men already involved in the men’s rights movement, and MGTOW soon exploded online across various websites, forums, subreddits and YouTube channels.

MGTOW communities online are steadily growing. Research from 2020 suggests that MGTOWs (along with incels) are absorbing members from other male supremacist groups as individuals migrate further into the so-called online “manosphere.” The main MGTOW subreddit had just 15,000 subscribers in 2016, but three years later the number had grown by nearly 600% to 104,000. Before the subreddit was quarantined and eventually banned for violating policies about inciting violence or promoting hate, the community grew to nearly 150,000 subscribers.

Overlap with the ‘alt-right’

The alternative right, or “alt-right,” was a white nationalist movement active between 2015 and 2018. Figures and groups affiliated with this movement actively unified with male supremacist movements including MGTOWs to combat multicultural, social justice and feminist forces that they perceived as undermining white male civilization.

Five months before the alt-right descended on Charlottesville, Virginia, for the deadly “Unite the Right” rally in 2017, James Harris Jackson, a self-described Nazi, traveled to New York City in hopes of igniting a race war. Jackson murdered Timothy Caughman, an elderly Black man, as “practice” for his intended mass attack on interracial couples in Times Square.

There is no doubt that white supremacy fueled Jackson’s attack. He followed several conspiratorial and alt-right YouTube accounts, including Alex Jones and Richard Spencer’s National Policy Institute. He visited white supremacist websites such as the Daily Stormer five times a day in the months before committing murder. He idealized the white supremacist who killed nine Black congregants at a Charleston, South Carolina, church in 2015. Jackson titled his manifesto “Declaration of Total War on Negros.”

Less explored in the coverage of Jackson’s radicalization is the role of male supremacy, specifically MGTOW, which interacted with and reinforced his white supremacist thinking. On YouTube, Jackson subscribed to a number of MGTOW channels – even more than those explicitly tied to the alt-right. This included a YouTuber known as The Angry MGTOW who posted videos of himself railing against the supposed crimes of white women, particularly their involvement with Black men, a theme Jackson echoed for years. In 2013 he wrote about his “inexplicable and instinctual murderous hatred of white women who sleep with black men.” In his manifesto he blamed these women for “the total destruction of western civilization.”

At the time, MGTOW and alt-right communities were converging as the latter began courting male supremacists, hoping to redirect their sense of victimhood to the white supremacist cause. While MGTOWs and the racist right are not always aligned, they are unified in their obsession with women’s sexuality. MGTOWs insist they are uninterested in sexual relationships with women; however, even a cursory review of their content reveals members’ sexual anxiety and resentment that manifest in an obsession with women having sex with other men. During the rise of the alt-right, MGTOW discourse was increasingly embracing antisemitism and white supremacy. Many reframed feminists – their longtime archenemies – as puppets in a greater Jewish scheme.

Today this convergence is exemplified by white nationalist provocateur Nick Fuentes. While Fuentes describes himself as a “proud incel,” his brand of male supremacy closely aligns with MGTOW. He frames his celibacy as a noble choice and has suggested that relationships with women only distract men from the white nationalist cause. Like other MGTOWs, he has also used homophobia and referred to heterosexual relationships as “gay” to reinforce his own sexual identity in the absence of an interest in relationships with women.

#MeToo and the mainstreaming of MGTOW

In fall 2017, the hashtag #MeToo went viral as millions came forward to share their personal stories and speak out against sexual harassment and violence. Just as quickly as the hashtag took off, mainstream media outlets and celebrities alike began platforming formerly fringe MGTOW beliefs, suggesting men should isolate themselves from women to avoid accusations of misogyny or sexual assault. “Wall Street Rule for the #MeToo Era: Avoid Women at All Cost,” one December 2018 Bloomberg headline advised.

One popular MGTOW YouTuber with nearly 200,000 subscribers emphasized the connection, telling his viewers, “All this #MeToo stuff is annoying, especially if you’re a man going his own way ... we could see this coming from a mile away.” In another video he encouraged his supporters to avoid women at work and was pleased to see so many men outside of the MGTOW community embracing this strategy: “Women have reached the point of diminishing returns when it comes to work and playing the victim around male coworkers ... because while you might actually be able to shame a white knight at work, lady, with a smile and some attention, it’s a completely different thing to get a man to risk his career and marriage on a potentially false allegation over nothing.”

Rather than reckon with the widespread problem of sexual harassment, men opted to discriminate against women in the workplace, echoing the MGTOW creed that women are dangerous and must be avoided. At the 2019 World Economic Forum, several attendees voiced their concerns about working with women. One unnamed American finance executive told The New York Times, “I now think twice about spending one-on-one time with a young female colleague.” Similarly, former Vice President Mike Pence famously refused to dine alone with any woman other than his wife in what was deemed “the Pence Rule,” which many pointed out can be damaging to women’s employment opportunities. These anecdotes are just a few examples of an alarming pattern.

A 2019 study conducted by researchers at the University of Houston revealed how well MGTOW beliefs were permeating workplaces around the country in the wake of #MeToo. Of the male respondents, 27% reported they avoid one-on-one meetings with female co-workers. Additionally, 21% of men reported they were reluctant to hire a woman for a job requiring close interaction, and 19% were reluctant to hire an attractive woman.

Another 2019 survey, “Working Relationships in the #MeToo Era,” conducted by Lean In, found more than half (60%) of men in management positions reported they felt uncomfortable working with a woman, a 32% jump from the previous year. Additionally, the survey found 36% of men avoided mentoring or socializing with a woman because they were nervous about how it would look.